HOW TO APPROACH A GIRL THE RIGHT WAY

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If you suffer from approach anxiety, then you need to get that handled before attempting the approach, otherwise you’ll just come across as a quivering wreck and will get shot down in no time. Before I get into the 3 secrets of how to approach a girl… I first want to give you a good and bad example of a typical approach, this can be played out in most situations (daytime, club etc).

THE STRUCTURE OF A GOOD APPROACH

1. You see a girl (force an IOI or go in cold)
2. You open with a direct or indirect based on the situation
3. She responds positively for the first 10 seconds
4. You keep the conversation going, introduce very light kino, build rapport and develop a strong trustworthy connection.
5. You instant date her or number close

Sounds easy enough right? Well yes, but it can be tougher when you don’t know the steps/secrets.

THE STRUCTURE OF A BAD APPROACH

1. You see a girl… think about what to say… crap your pants… and eventually go over
2. You open her with pathetic body language and fumble over your words
3. You don’t make eye contact… she takes a step back, thinks you’re an odd ball and makes an excuse to leave in hurry (or just flat out ignores you).
4. Your confidence takes another hit… you go home and watch porn whilst hating life.

Got the picture? Ok cool, so let me show you the best way to approach a girl… a way that keeps her interested long enough for you to build attraction and go for the close.

MULTIPLE LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS

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Seeing 3, 4 even 5 or more girls at once is actually a skill in itself. Not only do you have to juggle each girl and keep them happy, you also need to keep things so that each girl doesn’t find out about the other girl… causing a ball ache of a situation for you!

Also as long as you are honest, every step of the way with each of the girls, then there is not reason why it should backfire in your face.

8 tips for multiple long term relationships:

1. COMFORT AND HONESTY

If you’re not honest, people will get hurt and it’s also confusing. It’s very hard to keep up a lie, so it’s best that you don’t tell one in the first place.

2. BUILD COMFORT

Comfort and trust needs to be the foundation of your interactions with girls you want to date… obviously, so you need to work on connecting with her on an emotional level, rather than just building intense sexual attraction and boinking her on the first night.

3. “I’M SEEING SOMEONE ELSE”

If she asks, tell her you’re seeing other girls. Otherwise don’t tell her, because it could lead to complications. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, so keep it quiet.

4. SEXUALLY ESCALATE “SLOWLY”

Any sexual escalation needs to be initiated on the day 2 not on day 1. Arrange to meet with her a couple of days after your first meeting and start escalating then, so that she starts to feel a connection between you both.

5. GIVE TIME TO EACH GIRL, BUT SPREAD IT OUT

Make them want to see you more, this helps build attraction when they keep thinking about you and building you up in their mind. It also means you don’t give too much away too fast.

6. USE THE WORD “FRIENDS”

If you use the term girlfriend to any of the girls you are seeing, then they will start to become territorial and you may even begin to think about them differently which isn’t good if you want this multiple long term relationship thing to work.

7. LET HER KNOW WHERE YOU STAND

If you play this right, one of the girls you are dating will eventually get the hump and want to see you exclusively. If you don’t want that, then you need to either let her know that you’re not interested in a relationship or let her go… because it’s just not worth the hassle.

8. DON’T OVER INVEST

Don’t ask too many questions or let them know TOO MUCH about you. This will keep them on their toes, you won’t fall under the same category as regular guys then because you’re not predictable.

If You Can Get Her to Feel an Emotion, You Can Capture Her Attention

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If you can get her to feel an emotion, you can capture her attention. That may sound obvious, but so many guys overlook this first principle.

Ask yourself this: have you ever sent a first text that said something like, "Nice meeting you" or "Hey, this is Tom"?

Or maybe you tried asking a woman out with the first text you sent? Think back on it (and go through your old text messages if you have to), are your first texts sparking a woman's emotions?

If you're like most guys, the answer is probably no. As such, she probably saw you as "just another guy." You didn't make yourself stand out from the crowd. If she was even somewhat cute, you can bet there were plenty of other guys texting her, as well. Even if you had a great interaction in person, an emotionless first text can cause her to second guess her initial impression of you. But you're never going to make that mistake again. Just as you can't imagine making a pizza without the dough, you won't be able to fathom using your phone without first sparking an emotion. It's the crust on which you will layer on the other ingredients. When you're considering the language of a "sparking emotions" text, some questions you should be asking yourself are: What is new, different, or interesting about what I'm writing? What "mental pictures" are my words painting? Is this clear? Will she immediately "get" what I'm trying to say? Does this sound like something "every other guy" would write? To help get you thinking more "emotionally" right now, here are a couple of our stash of ways to instantly improve the uniqueness of your language:

Substitute signs for words."Our meeting last night = awesome" For example, rather than using words like "is," "was," or "are" substitute in "=" signs (e.g., "Our meeting last night = awesome"; "Me = hung over this morning!"). Begin with verbs, exclamations, or one-word sentences. For example, you can begin a text with an irregular verb like "bump" as in "Bump some R. Kelly for me..." or you can even break a sentence into smaller sentences: "Bump. Some. K. Kelly. For me."

Understanding What Attracts Different Women

There are three MAJOR conflicts in women's lives, that are so intense, they force women to choose a dominant strategy, and that becomes part of her personality - which dictates significant behavioral differences - and determines which triggers makes her feel attracted, which behaviors make her feel comfortable, and what gets her turned on.

These three conflicts are: Time, Sex, and Relationship. 

Conflict of Time - Women are biologically programmed to mate with the most dominant, high status man they can find so therefore she wants to spend time really screening the men she dates and finding the best one - but there is pressure from society to be with a guy who has high status - and it is looked down upon if a girl is single for a long time. 

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This is why you will see women who are older, becoming cougars, and becoming much more aggressive in dating, going out, and meeting guys. Even to the point of hitting on the guys instead as opposed to younger girls who are more likely to just sit there and let men approach them. It all has to do with her feeling that her time is running out... 

With men - they actually get BETTER with age, more successful, better traveled, they have more sexual experience. And they can have children, now especially with Viagra, well into their 70's or 80's. 

Conflict of Sex - She wants to enjoy the physical pleasure and emotional intimacy of sex - but sex in the past has led to emotional trauma and critical judgment from society and her peers. 

This is why women will seem VERY into you, make out with you, let you touch her, but there's often an additional level of resistance right before you start having actual sex. We know it feels great for her, and often we don't understand her hesitation, but she's got an internal conflict preventing her from going all the way.

And men - we don't try to have sex with a girl, and then suddenly change our mind because we're scared of being judged. If anything our friends think we're even cooler for having more sex.

Conflict of Relationship - Her biological wiring drives her to support and nurture family, and develop her feminine self / but our male dominated society encourages achievement, status climbing and developing her career, just in case she doesn't find a man to provide for her. 

This is why you'll see very successful women quitting their jobs or taking an extended leave when they have kids. For example, recently Nicole Kidman took a break from Hollywood to focus on raising her children. You won't see a man really taking a break from work to focus on his family - if anything he'll work even HARDER when he has more mouths to feed.

Being Serious with Online Dating Shows Desperation

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I think the biggest mistake that most guys tend to make when deciding to try out online dating is that they take the whole thing seriously. 

I've seen too many guys who design their online profiles as if they're job applications. Not a good idea. 

Remember earlier when I talked about asking the question "Why?" with regards to what women's profiles communicate about what their reason to try online dating is? 

Well keep in mind that women are doing the exact same thing for your profile. 

If they get the impression that you're turning to online dating because you can't meet women in your everyday life, then they're going to assume you're a loser, even if your profile lists lots of great things about you. 

Understand that even if women have trouble meeting guys in their everyday life and feel that using online dating will help them, they don't want others to suspect that they need it. 

Often they sign up and convince themselves that they're not creating a profile out of desperation, but out of curiosity or a recommendation from friends and if they read your profile and it reminds them of this desperation, they will next you.

As part of the research for this book I've watched many of my female friends peruse male profiles on internet dating sites, and the results were interesting. 

If the profile was funny, and quirky, often they would be more inclined to message him. 

However, if the profile was written too seriously, or devoid of humour they would become bored and next him. 

Even if he was a good looking guy with a nicely written profile, the mere fact that he was taking the whole thing seriously turned them off. 

Now, this may not be the case with women who have come to terms with their need to use online dating sites, but the most attractive women are rarely that type.

Sexual Skills: Are Kama Sutra Positions Real or Bullshit? What do you Think Alpha Boy!

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The Kama Sutra is probably the most published sex book with new editions and versions with 100s of positions published each year. But popular doesn't always mean good.  This is what two very sexually experienced and award winning porn stars think of the Kama Sutra.

Marcus London: The Male Perspective 

The Kama Sutra positions are not mean't for thrusting. They are mean't for a more karma type of connection sex.

They can be useful in a relationship when you've already achieved what you can in the positions we all use (Doggy, missionary, cow girl etc.).

The karma sutra is more about connecting with the girl. It's tantric sex. It's about trying to attain a new level of connection way beyond the physical. In the Karma Sutra positions a minimal of movement can be as strong as the thrusting in the doggy type position. With the right person it works, but all the elements have to be in play. You two are connected, and in this strange position, you are in each others heads. It's one of those dimensional situations in sex.

These positions are not for one night stands, and they are not for someone you just met. You have to have such a strong emotional connection and use them to build further mental stimulation with each other.

Tori Black: The Female Perspective

I have looked at so many of those Kama Sutra books it's ridiculous. So many of those books are sold by the number of positions they have in them. It's like they are saying the higher the number, the better the book. But that's not the case of course. More sexual positions does not equal better.

However, when you look through it you do come up with new ideas. So from a girl's perspective and mine in particular, the more fluent you are with your body, the more you are ready for random sex.

So I've found the Kama Sutra books useful because the knowledge of the crazy weird positions and of my own body allows me to nearly always come up with something that works, no matter where we are.

So it can help for random sex if you are into that. There are also some positions that cater more towards "romantic sex". This is important if you are in a relationship with a girl, because emotional time is important. When you are in a relationship with a girl you want to be kinky and f*** the s*** out of her but you also want to be emotional. Think roses, candles and soft music. She'll be hooked like that.

Assume Familiarity = Closer to Sex

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What do women want? Any excuse to get closer.

It is logical to start at the beginning when first meeting a new woman, but wrong.

When you start from the beginning you start without familiarity of each other. You start furthest away from each other. You are both strangers to each other and this gets in the way of you hooking up with each other because you have to get to know each other first. You aren't close enough.

You can jump from the beginning to the middle of the relationship simply by "Assuming Familiarity".

You act like you have already known each other for a while and are already in a relationship (and therefore closer, and closer to sex).

This has the additional benefit of keeping communication between you more natural and helping to avoid any awkward silences.

To assume familiarity you need to take liberties as soon as you meet a woman and feel comfortable with it. When we are familiar with someone (e.g. friends) we feel comfortable asking for things from them or even taking things from them. We don't need to ask permission. 

Example 1: If a girl is eating an ice cream, say "Let me try some of that" and reach over and take a spoonful. This is familiarity. A stranger would feel too awkward to do this, or would ask permission for it. 

Example 2: If a girl is on the phone or talking in a group who you'd like to approach, 'familiarity' lets you interrupt her. If she was your best friend and you saw her in the street, you would have no problem interrupting her. You take the liberty of interrupting her because it's not a big deal when you know her well. I think the biggest mistake that most guys tend to make when deciding to try out online dating is that they take the whole thing seriously.