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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

The Key to Recovering from Mistakes with Women

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We all make mistakes with women - say something inappropriate, move in too close to her too soon, make her feel uncomfortable etc. The good news is that most mistakes can be recovered from.
As long as you catch them quickly. To recover from a mistake you follow these steps as soon as you feel you've gone too far or you feel yourself making a mistake:
1. Anticipate - what her objection will be. Experience and your instincts will tell you. The more interactions you've had with women the easier this becomes.
2. Step back - this means literally physically move your body and body language back from her slightly. So that you are clearly giving her some space.
3. Verbalize it - tell her what her objection is and what she is feeling.
4. Move on - Carry on talking about something else to smooth it out.
This neutralizes the mistake and allows you to turn around the dynamic.
 EXAMPLE: When you approach a woman and have been talking with her for a minute.
1. Anticipate - You notice that she has body language pulled away from you and seems uncomfortable with your approach. She is nervous about being talked to by someone she doesn't know.
2. Step back - You lean away from her, and don't make so much aggressive eye contact.
3. Verbalize it - You say "You look nervous about talking to me, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable." You smile in friendly, but not over the top way.
4. Move on - You continue to talk about something what you were talking about on approach or something else.

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